February 2023: Finding My Motivation
Updated: Sep 1
I've hibernated for many weeks. With my house tidied up from holiday hosting, I didn't want to make a mess of it by bringing the clay back out. With the cold weather and the early sunsets I didn't want to do anything other than curl up on the couch in the evenings. I napped on the weekends when I had free time. The more I let myself rest, however, the more tired I felt, and the days began to blur too much and pass too quickly. By January's end, a creeping concern settled into my mind that I didn't want to stay in that state. Eventually, I'd have to wake up into the new year.
My motivation has slowly returned over the past couple of weeks. The clay is back on the kitchen counter. I'm not sure what changed except that I began to want a change. To "feel like myself again," I'd said to Kev, which signals that there's a certain level of activity, energy, and goings-on that is the right balance for me.
The things I held onto, which then became anchors in my day as I began to re-awaken, have been: daily french lessons, a very approachable knitting project, and reading (if slowly) interesting articles in the New Yorker. That is to say - my mind wants to expand and sometimes it needs a nudge, my hands want to move and sometimes they need warming up.
I'll end with a note on Lunar New Year, which was January 22nd. This holiday was part of what prompted me to want to regain my vigor. We saw both sides of the family, celebrated with beautifully decorated cookies from a local small business, and later took Jasper to Chinatown for the first time, where we ate dumplings and almond cookies, and brought moon cakes, shrimp crackers, and sponge cakes home with us. Some of the best treats and snacks from our childhood, shared with him.