I'm writing this post just before bed on Halloween. The family dressed up as skeletons and we took Jasper trick-or-treating near my in-laws at pickup time and in our neighborhood after we got home. It was lots of fun and very cute to watch him have a good time. Unfortunately, our own candy bowl that we'd left out was stolen near the end of the night. Our holiday was very nice despite that, and starting tomorrow, we're officially in the holiday season. Can you believe it?
It's been a hard month, this October. The world has shattered even more because of the Israel-Hamas war. Sometimes the dissonance of my comfortable everyday contrasted with the horrific pain and horrific violence that others are suffering is too much, and I want to throw my hands up and shout into the void that nothing matters. Other times I'm filled with a zeal to carpe diem, which motivates me to press on with French lessons, take the trip to the farmer's market in the rain, and stay awake a little longer to finish a task.
This inner tumult has also driven me to make an unprecedented number of ceramics this month: 72. It doesn't shock me that I've processed my emotions in this way, but the volume of pieces speaks to a true discomfort with staying still lately.
My mild insomnia, which I've affectionately dubbed mom-somnia, has struck frequently as well. Makes sense, given the above.
In the short term, I'm going with the flow and cautiously harnessing this energy. There's so much to think about and do between now and the end of the year after all. As for tonight, writing this update has helped settle me into a wave of sleepiness that I'll hang onto for a (hopefully) good night's rest.